The Malling
Horror Story by Steve Dishon
One week prior to photos
“Why do we have to get family photos?”
“We haven’t had a family photo since you were a baby- we have none with your sister.”
“We take pictures every day.”
“It’s not up for discussion. You’re going to humor me and spend the afternoon with family.”
Megan interjects, “I bet dad doesn’t care.”
Before she can continue, her mom cuts her off, “Your father is actually excited. He said he has an idea.”
“An idea?” Megan is exasperated. “Dad can’t be trusted.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s a picture…what could go wrong?”
“Well, there was the robot dance routine at Elaine’s wedding. He makes lame jokes at every check out. He….”
Her mom cuts her off, “Stop right there. We’re doing this.”
Day before photo shoot
“We have to convince mom to let us hang around the mall after pictures. John Andrews is going to be there. My hair will be done- makeup will be perfect. It’s my chance to impress him.”
Rolling her eyes, Amber responds, “He’s ok, but….”
Megan retorts, “OK???? He’s perfect! He hasn’t noticed me yet, but he will.”
“Look,” Amber says, “If you play along and act like you’re happy to be there, she will let us stay. Just stop complaining.”
“I can do that.” Megan smiles.
Day of the shoot at the West Edmonton Mall
Megan, Amber and her mother enter Roland Mills for their photos. The girls are wearing stunning new dresses and are looking their best and feeling confident.
“Mom, where’s dad?
“Your father had to pick up one last thing for the shoot. He said he would be here shortly.”
She turns to see her husband entering, hurrying.
“Sorry I’m late. I had to get these.” He holds out four outfits. It looks like an hip version of lederhosen, complete with suspenders.
Aghast, Megan blurts, “I won’t be caught dead in that.”
Before she can go on, her mom grabs her arm. “It’s for a contest. Just do this for your dad.”
Megan takes the opportunity, “Mom, when we are done, can we hang at the mall for a few hours.”
Distractedly, her mom says, “Sure. We’ll leave and go home. You can hang out. We will meet you back at the elephant at Safari Land. Deal?”
Both girls together, “DEAL!”
Shortly, the family emerges from the dressing room fully clad in ridiculousness. Then, over the loud speaker, “Attention, Megan Smith, your wallet has been found and turned into mall security.
Panicking, Megan grabs her clutch, looking for her wallet. “Oh no. All my Christmas money. It better not have fallen out. I’ll be right back.”
She rushes out of the shoot and into the mall. She turns the corner and runs smack into the chest of a strapping young lad. She stumbles back, looks up into the beautiful eyes of John Andrews. She stumbles for words. She looks down to avoid eye contact….eyes falls on her outfit, lederhosen and all.
Oh the horror!!!!!!
