The Cosmic Kiss Caper
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Dan Mora
Colors: Alejandro Sanchez
Letters: Todd Klein
Metalhead Mundy: BATMAN/DEADPOOL is here!
DC finally drops their half of the highly anticipated crossover with Marvel! It sticks to the same format as the previous DEADPOOL/BATMAN, with the main B/D story, then several shorter backups. And, just like the earlier installment, they’re kind of hit or miss.
Grant Morrison writes our titular tale, and he immediately makes it weird, but it sets up a fairly interesting reason our heroes are meeting. Eternity and Kismet meet and “hook up,” thus mingling the two realities. Quintessential Morrison, man. Like most of his stories, it took a few pages for me to really hit the groove.
Chapter One
Batman seems to be on a case, then is immediately dead, or at least very injured, and…flashback to the beginning of the story? Unclear. Wade quickly figures out the fourth wall situation in this reality, because he’s Deadpool. I did enjoy Bats handing Wade his blown-off legs with an “I think these are yours.” Then begins the running gag of it all: comparisons to SLADE Wilson, Deathstroke, and shots fired at a certain outspoken comics creator, and how creative his character creation actually is (or isn’t). After some clever banter, and a couple of getting-to-know-you pages, we hit…
Chapter Two
The absurdity of events convinces Batman that nothing is real, and we meet our story’s Big Bad: Cassandra Nova! I was not expecting her, at all, in a DC-led publication, but she’s a Morrison creation, so that’s neat. This is all one big Nova ruse to find a weapon that can purportedly kill her, but Batman’s mind is proving too strong for her manipulation, so she tasks Wade with finding the information in the crazy un-reality she’s created for them by resuscitating the dying Bats from the beginning of the book. (Confused yet?) After a dip in a conveniently placed Lazarus Pit, Bruce emerges as…DARKCLAW? Amalgam, anyone? This was a very cool surprise, and, my God, does Dan Mora’s Darkclaw look amazing!
Chapter Three
Darkclaw tells Wade that in order to get Nova out of their minds, he has a secret weapon: a partner who never listens. Damian to the rescue! He breaks Nova’s hold on our heroes so they can find the weapon, which turns out to be a Cosmic Keyboard that can rewrite reality, in the possession of…Grant Morrison? Oy. He doesn’t name himself, but, yeah. Exposition, followed by another confrontation with Nova, where she’s defeated by the writer, with the help of DEADBAT! This new Amalgam character has potential, but he only appears for half a page, after what feels like a gratuitous sex scene with Eternity and Kismet. Are you keeping up?
Cassandra defeated and beheaded, Wade heads home to the 616, head in tow. The Writer says the “cosmic conjunction” is over. That’s my new favorite euphemism for sex, by the way. The fourth wall will be rebuilt. Batman asks The Writer for a favor. There’s a weird, postcoital thing between anthropomorphic cosmic entities. And, we’re out.
The humor is definitely Deadpool level, good or bad. I honestly didn’t love the story. Morrison has always been hit or miss for me. It seems like when he’s firing on all cylinders, he’s unstoppable. This was not that. Overall, it’s a fun, silly, throwaway adventure that hits some marks for fans of Batman and Deadpool, and doesn’t take either too seriously. Dan Mora seems like the only choice to illustrate this misadventure. At least it LOOKS crystal clear, even if the story is a bit muddy.
⅘, mostly because it’s so dang pretty, and I did enjoy the twists along the way.
Foggy: Wow, Mundy did some serious heavy lifting there. He made the non-sense make sense. Well done, sir!
Of all the stories in this issue, this was the one I was most excited about. I love Morrison for all of his wackiness. I’m looking at you Danny the Street, Zur-en-arrh, time traveling bullet, dada and all! He has a way of finding what makes a character tick, throwing in lots of odd continuity, and building a world that feels fresh, even for characters with ages of story in the rear view.
I feel like Mundy and I are in the same camp here. It is interesting and entertaining, but I don’t think I will ever have to revisit this story. It’s jam packed with cool ideas, clever reveals and a cool framing device, but it has no room to breathe. 27 pages cannot contain the mind of Grant Morrison.
So what’s good?
Morrison had me at page one. The story begins and ends, with a small insertion (pun intended) in the middle, with these two star-crossed universes. They represent the meshing of the Marvel and DC universes, and well, the results are not good. As they consummate the relationship, Deadbat is born. In the end, the two lovers break up. Let’s face it, Batman and Deadpool are not a good match.
Morrison did a nice job with the Deadpool dialog, making him just annoying enough to keep him funny. He was a nice foil for the very serious Batman. And, like he did in Animal Man, Morrison inserted himself into the story, holding the Mcguffin around which the story revolved. Very clever.
3.5/5- fun story with beautiful art, but too crammed and busy to allow the story to fully stick the landing.
Sticks & Snikts
Metalhead Mundy: My favorite backup story is “Sticks & Snikts” by Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo.
We join our heroes, Nightwing and Laura Kinney, already searching for Laura’s sister, Gabby. She wanted Batman, but got stuck with Grayson. They find Gabby in the sewers, held hostage by Killer Croc, which seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding. Croc is defeated, and everyone heads to the clocktower for food and hangs.
The Nightwing and Laura Kinney story is absolutely the heart of this book. The dialogue, and the narration, is superb. It’s all about getting to know one another, finding common ground, and figuring out how to work together. The best moment is when Laura figures out Dick is “just a regular guy,” with no powers, who is willing to put his life on the line simply because he wants to help. My personal favorite creative team from recent years, Taylor and Redondo, reunites to remind us of the importance of family, even the chosen kind.
5/5 Absolute perfection, this one hits every benchmark, with action, emotion, a solid short story, and beautiful art.
Steve: I was going to pick another story from the book to highlight, but in all honesty, they were a letdown. Morrison’s story was good for it’s ambitious nature and gorgeous art, “Sticks and Snikts” was great for its heart. All other stories lacked heart, humor, drama, or satisfying endings. Constantine and Dr. Strange was the only other story that had the seeds of a good story, but even that fell flat. The ending felt rushed and lacked any relevant point or revelation. Harley Quinn was wasted with the Hulk. Ms. Marvel and Static, likewise, were wasted in a story that paled in comparison to “Sticks and Snikts.”
Having said that, I would read a book featuring Kinney and Greyson. 5/5
Next up for the dynamic duo is Batman #4. Check back to One Big Blank to find out if it’s good.
