Longing can take on many looks. Maybe because it’s made up of many emotions. In my opinion, when it’s done right in film, you get to see a proper balance of these emotions making an appearance. There isn’t a single star among them- they all share the stage. Grief, regret, pondering, a mourning-like sadness, wonder, and above all: Hope in the human connection. I, personally, tend to get fully immersed in a film when the score, direction, acting, writing, lighting, and all of the other elements point at that prism that is our hearts and we realize that one vision holds so many hues. We ride the rollercoaster, holding onto hope in that moment and perhaps blur the lines a bit between what’s on the screen and what we hold dear in our hearts. So let’s jump into three different looks at longing in film, shall we?
1. Meet Joe Black (1998) – Longing for Something New
The Set Up:
Just so you know, there are no real spoilers in this scene. Oh, and also for context, Susan (Claire Forlani) is entering the coffee shop already pondering the longing she feels after a conversation with her dad. After noticing she’s in a mostly loveless relationship with her boyfriend, he wants her to be “deliriously happy “and to stay open to a love, telling her, “lightning may strike.” Joe (Brad Pitt) has just moved to town and happens to be in the coffee shop she’s entering.
What to Look For:
- As the conversation between two strangers starts up, we see it warming up as they start to slowly move beyond the small talk. Here, more eye contact is made and genuine smiles appear, even as they try to look away as if they’re slightly embarrassed of the smiles spreading across their faces.
- Once Joe pushes the flirting to the forefront and Susan decides she has the time for another cup of coffee, we see them get in sync with their movements, hinting at their similarities. This cuts to the conversation continuing in a more open and relaxed way.
- The director’s (Martin Brest) choice to show Joe’s hand without a ring on it, as he uses Susan as an example of his future wife.
- The look on Susan’s face inside the coffee shop when Joe inadvertently repeats her father’s line when he says, “You never know, lightning could strike.”
- As they step outside, the look on Susan’s face shows that she’s both frightened and intrigued by the idea of a fresh start with this stranger that she’s starting to feel an unexplainable connection to – especially as she’s explaining how Joe didn’t say something wrong, he just said something “so right” that it scared her.
- As they finally open up that they like each other, the “goodbye” seems both necessary and unwanted. The way their bodies linger and turn for small instances says a lot. They begin to part ways without exchanging information, maybe relying on hope and happenstance that they’ll meet up again.
The Key Moment of Longing:
As the music swells and they walk in opposite directions down the sidewalk, there is no more dialogue. Only body language, facial expressions, and timing can show us the longing they both feel. We see them turn around – almost speaking, almost going back – and, most importantly, almost hoping that the other will be doing the same so that fate can force them together versus their own feelings. As the literal and metaphorical distance grows between them, we as the audience hopes for them to turn at the same time, too. The director chooses to stay on this shot so we feel the tension. We see and feel the distance in the full-body wide shots and we feel and see the longing in the close ups. Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani give amazing performances in this scene and throughout the movie alongside a stellar cast.
2. The Great Gatsby (2013) – Longing for a Lost Love
The Set Up:
Everyone who has ever been nervous and in love needs a friend like Nick Caraway (Tobey Maguire) – even the great Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio). You see, Gatsby’s lost love, Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan), happens to be Nick’s second cousin, once removed. Nick and Gatsby become neighbors and friends, both living right across the water from Daisy and her husband. Nick is willing to help Gatsby see Daisy again for the first time in many years, by having her over to his house for tea where Gatsby would be waiting to surprise her. But even the great Gatsby gets nervous and nearly misses the chance to finally see Daisy again in the flesh.
What to Look For:
- Daisy’s breath nearly being taken away as she enters the room where Gatsby should be.
- The rain outside the windows that eventually (and seemingly) push Gatsby back into Nick’s residence, though we know it is his longing for Daisy that brings him back. We get to see him with a face full of determination and fear all at once.
- The staring and the breathing as Daisy and Gatsby see each other again.
- The director (Baz Luhrmann) hold on the shot and push in on the characters to give us a feel for deeper and deeper recognition. Also, the single step in the silence that Gatsby takes into the room to show his ommitment to this moment he’s been waiting for.
- Even though Daisy is more taken off guard, she breaks the silence more confidently with the line, “I’m certainly glad to see you again” – which is music to Gatsby’s ears. Still, he struggles to deliver his reply with as much confidence, stammering to say, “I’m certainly glad to see you, as well.”
- As we cut to some time passing and are shown how awkwardly the tea party is going, it’s in this part of the scene we realize it’s been nearly 5 years since they’ve seen each other, as Gatsby knows and says exactly how long it has been. This shows us how a reunion with her has been consuming him throughout those years.
The Key Moment of Longing:
As Nick sits with them in near silence, only broken by banal small talk, he realizes that they will both use him as a conversational crutch if he doesn’t leave and force them into talking. Gatsby’s freakout over Nick leaving him alone with Daisy is quickly calmed in the realization that Daisy is also embarrassed in this encounter. Once Gatsby latches onto this revealation, Gatsby strides back into the room with the full confidence of his character. He cannot stand that he might be the reason she is uncomfortable and aims to set that right because he loves her. Nick’s trick works and, as the scene goes on, we see Gatsby and Daisy sitting close, engaged in meaningful conversation. Though you don’t see it in the clip below, the following scene of Daisy and Nick at Gatsby’s house is an amazing sequence that includes small moments, like hands accidentally touching and big moments showing off his mansion, all set to a fantastic song by Lana Del Rey called Young and Beatiful. It all culminates in Daisy becoming overwhelmed and Gatsby rushing to her side to comfort her. As she tells him that it all makes her sad, he longingly asks “Why?” hoping to hear her real answer, only to get a semi-crpytic and semi-shallow answer. You can see and hear tthe song and the lead up HERE.
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) – Longing for a Fresh Start
The Set Up:
Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) has hired a company to erase his mind of any memories of his former girlfriend, Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet). This scene picks up inside of Joel’s mind during the procedure, reliving a memory with Clementine.
What to Look For:
- Halfway through this sequence, it cuts to an exteroir shot of the house they’ve invaded for the night and it starts to crumble. This shows that the “procedure” is working and things are being erased. This is a vehicle to get us from the real memory into Joel’s head in present day.
- Clementine, from off camera, says, “So go” and as the music begins to play, Joel says, “I did.” We see a look of regret take over him.
- The regret and guilt pour into the scene as the water pours into the house. Clementine, again from off camera, says, “I wish you’d have stayed!” and Joel begins to talk to her, to himself, and to us that he wish he had stayed, too. In fact, he wished he’d done a lot of things, according to his own words. There is a unspoken longing for a second chance.
- There’s a sadness and a relief as they talk about the night Joel left without saying goodbye. He admits to being afraid and there’s a sense of something we all can relate to in that – where fear has kept us from something good.
- As the scene replays him walking out the door again, this time Clementine stops him. She seems to be offering him options from within this dream-state. A new longing sets in as she asks him to comeback and make up a goodbye. She even says, “Let’s pretend we had one.” She longs for closure and, since this is his dream, he must, too.
The Key Moment of Longing:
As a new goodbye is being said between Joel and Clementine, he gets to say, “I love you” and she leans in and whispers, “Meet me in Montauk.” They look into each other’s eyes as the extreme close up gets silightly blurry – a choice that director Michel Gondry might have made to signify that the message may not be immediately clear to the audience and/or the procedure is nearing its end, as she’s nearly been erased from his mind. We see a deep sadness set in with Joel as a montage of passing memories takes place, complete with him frantically feeling around an empty bed. And towards the end of that sequence, where we can barely see Joel in the dark, he says, “…She was just a girl…” but you can almost hear a smile because if he does meet her in Montauk, it will be where they first met. And this allows for one of the most unique fresh starts one can have: A clean slate with no memory of the transgressions that couples have trouble shedding when they give the reolationship another chance. We can feel the longing of starting over without any baggage – a “do over” we just don’t get in real life, unfortunately.
Bonus Breakdowns:
If you are into deep dives and breakdowns, check out our articles on two Sleep Token songs: Aqua Regia and Atlantic. And if you don’t know who Sleep Token is, drop what you’re doing and start getting yourself familiar with them before they drop their new album, Even In Arcadia. You’ll thank us later. 
